Weird plans and other interesting bits of pizza crust fall off like they do on any other day

Even as I write this, Shaitan and me are drawing up a list of all the people we have pissed off over the years. All the people who may have misunderstood or been misunderstood. All those who have been unfairly treated; a harsh word or two in moments of anger or supreme stupidity. And those who could have been shown some affection, a few whispers of encouragement rather than cutting ridicule.

The plan being to piss them off a little more. Won't get another chance to do it again methinks. We did do a major rethink upon entering triple digits. I don't think there is enough time to slag all of them. Maybe we could do in batches. Grate one group at a time. Two birds, one stoned and all that.

For me, the best thing about having a working pair of eyes is that you get to see all these colours. Fantastic. And I do not mean it in a "Woooo dude look at those purple butterflies maaaaan" kinda way.

Over quickly-warming bottles of beer, Jadoo told me about the random bouts of asexual-ism he has recently been suffering from. Not attracted to the opposite sex at all. Poor chap. And he is not even gay!

Speaking of which, two people sitting in separate cubicles of the loo had a ten minute conversation over the after effects of spicy food on one's anus. "And then at 3 in the morning, I hear these fire crackers erupting from my bum". I really don't think Hostel Life prepares you for reality.

Maybe there could be a month long initiation period where you are taught all them basic niceties. A rehab of some sort, helping you "re-integrate" yourself into human society. A 12-step program for the socially fucked.